Everyone knows just how hard GOOD mobile otome games are to find. What about BAD ones, though? After debating about it for a few minutes, I decided to make this post. Mobile otome games usually have a separated route system so, instead of games, I’ll talk about the worst ROUTES I’ve ever played. Also, I didn’t make a top 10 cause’ I couldn’t really decide the order but wanted to share my views nonetheless. Anyway, I hope you have a good laugh with these ♡ Also, remember these are for fun and not intended to offend anyone, everything written here’s just my personal opinion and that doesn’t mean you have to agree with me :P.
A Knight’s devotion – Shion
I remember a friend of mine and I were really excited to play his route because his sprite was super cool and he seemed quite interesting from the prologue. Problem is that his route had some sort of problem when released and it was delayed for a bit. This is the part where one would think “oh, but it was worth the wait, right?”. BZZZZT, WRONG!! This dude wasn’t the tsundere I was expecting but rather a lazy bum. However, this was not what annoyed me from his route. What really pissed me off was that it was one of Voltage’s recurrent copy pasta plots: the dead ex-girlfriend syndrome. Ok, so, in this case it wasn’t really his girlfriend but she liked Shion so it still counts. Needless to say that his “oh so tragic past” was shit and this route sucked.
In Your Arms Tonight – Kiyoto
Oh my gooooddddd, this game is so overrated istg, I really can’t understand why so many Voltage fans like it. In my opinion it’s super dumb and the heroine, who’s supposedly 30 years old, acts like a freakin’ teenager dammit. I didn’t know whether to put Shohei or Kiyoto but I ultimately decided on Kiyoto because Shohei at least was cute, the problem was the jealous bitch who wanted to kill the MC and…the MC 😆 . Basic premise of this game is that the MC is married to a guy who cheats on her and she wants to “save” the marriage, wtf is she stupid or something?? Anyway, so, Kiyoto’s a flirty guy who’s 10 years younger than the MC but apparently he loves her for real (omg dude, what’s wrong with you, save yourself) lmao. Blah blah, so the MC actually manages to divorce her husband and then I thought “oh, ok, then now you can be with Kiyoto!”. Welp, “mature” MC sleeps with him only to leave him later (which obviously is the same as if the guy received a fucking stab through the heart), because he was talented in I don’t know what shit and she had to let him go so that he could grow??? Some time later, the dude realizes she did it for WUUUUUV and they get together again??? Wtf is this shit seriously.
Enchanted in the Moonlight: Miyabi
Being a huge fox lover, I was really excited to play Miyabi’s route thinking I’d enjoy it a lot. HOW WRONG I WAS. Basically, the MC has a sort of power which is activated when ayakashi have sex with her…yeah, I know it doesn’t sound that good but, in this game’s case, it actually depends on the route because the other two that I played (Shinra and Samon) were fine. Miyabi is a possessive and oresama dude who basically wants to force the MC all the time into having sex. Of course, the MC doesn’t want to have anything to do with this piece of shit until DUN DUN DUUUUN she learns of his OH SO TRAGIC PAST, where the people from his village hate him or envy him or who knows what shit and the MC then MAGICALLY falls in love because “oh noes poor foxy boy” ಠ_ಠ. THAT’S IT. THAT’S THE WHOLE REASON SHE FALLS IN LOVE. What the actual fuck.
Shall We Date?: Can’t Say No – Subaru
I don’t even know where to begin. I don’t mind yandere characters as long as they are well written and their reasons make SOME sort of sense but OH MY GOD THIS WAS FUCKING STOCKHOLM SYNDROME. Basically this dude is a CRAZY AF STALKER and security guard who’s obsessed with the MC so he kidnaps her, ties her up and gags her. Needless to say this crazy psycho had sexually harassed the MC before the kidnapping like it’s no biggie oh and, btw, he also FUCKING MURDERED a guy (and he’s a security guard, the irony…). Anyway, yeah, he kidnapped her then suddenly realized kidnapping is wrong and MC feels sowwyyyy for the guy and he tells her he loves her so much it’s making him crazy…DUDE YOU WERE CRAZY FROM THE BEGINNING. Anyway, they have CONSENSUAL sex (stockholm syndrome stockholm syndrome stockholm syndrome) and afterwards it seems that the MC has been reported missing. One day, the police comes to the stalker’s house because he’s under suspicion but THE MC PROTECTS HIM SAYING THAT SHE WAS JUST STAYING AT HIS HOUSE WTF IS THIS OMFG. Oh, and you learn his name at the end of the route, the end ಠ_ಠ
My Secret pets! Forbidden romance – Assam
This game is so freakin’ terrible, where do I start…I actually thought Assam was a dog at first 😆 so when I realized he’s a pig I was like wtf when were pigs pets??? Lol, so, anyway, MC is dumped by her scumbag of a boyfriend so she finds consolation in her pets (her parents own a pet shop). The next day, all of them turn into hot guys…Yeah, ok, so there’s actually another game with animals turning into ikemen called Dandelion but the main difference is that that game is actually good unlike this shit. Assam basically tells the MC he turned into a hot guy to be her lover ಠ_ಠ Blah blah, one day her ex appears and wants to get back together but Assam tells him to GTFO and then he grabs the MC, takes her home and they have sex. My problem with this game is not only that the MC falls in love too quickly, but also that there’s no freaking time for any development!! Almost nothing happens and BAM she’s in love and having sex, wow what an amazing story. Also, the fact that they were all her pets from the beginning is the perfect excuse to avoid building relationships. Writer 1: Hey, let’s make the pets know her so that we don’t actually have to explain why the guys love her!!! Writer 2: oooh you’re a genius!! Brilliant!!! Needless to say this route was awful.
Love Academy – Haku
This route was so fucking terrible because not only do we have the typical “important dead person” drama but also the “jealous bitch who wants to kill you”. Yeah, those two COMBINED. Well, to be fair, the deceased person drama didn’t really bother me that much, the stupid murderous bitch did. Anyway, the important dead person is Haku’s twin brother who was basically like his shadow and the only one who understood his feelings of wanting to play the guitar more than the violin (Haku’s from a rich family, btw). To add to the drama, we have the stupid bitch Mei who was Haku’s brother’s girlfriend and now uses him as a sort of replacement. Blah blah blah Mei is a jealous bitch and sends poisoned chocolates to the MC but Haku eats them instead and his vocal chords are damaged. The cherry on top is that Mei blames the MC for not eating the chocolates WTF bitch why don’t you eat them instead!!! ヽ༼ ಠ益ಠ ༽ﾉ
Always remember me! – Aaron
This game’s plot is…ugh. Amy, the heroine, has a boyfriend named Aaron who gets into an accident and forgets everything about her. Umm…ok. So, basically, if you want him back you need to talk to him and select the right choices orrrr you can pretend he never existed and go for other guys instead! Oh wow that’s so cool, I can’t wait to try it out (눈_눈). So, yeah, there’s a bitch who visits Aaron at the hospital and claims to be her girlfriend wtf, and you can’t say anything because OH NOES YOU WILL CONFUSE HIM, YOU HORRIBLE HUMAN BEING ಠ_ಠ Btw, his daddy also doesn’t approve of Amy so yeeeeaaaaaah, I’m not sure I wanna be part of this haha, so long suckers! I’m off to a better route where my husbando actually remembers me! (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ
My Strange Lovers – Mao
MC moves to a new shared house attracted by the low price but not knowing the guys who live there are actually beasts with the blood of an animal in them. Basically, when it’s moonlight, instead of turning into warewolves they get into heat mode so they get crazy if they see someone of the opposite sex nearby…Well, at least that was the case for Mao. Anyway, the thing is the cliché plot of “you can’t fall in love with a human” strikes yet again and we learn that Mao has a girl friend. He doesn’t think much of it but the truth is his friend is a crazy jealous bitch who treats you like shit and has you kidnapped by the climax of the route…I thought the MC was gonna be raped but apparently the guys who kidnap her give her off to a dude who’s a beast maniac so he uses you as bait. Blah blah, Mao saves you and happy end. WTF MAN, this route was incredibly horrible.
Illegal Romance – Noze
The MC has amnesia and is rescued by a detective called Noze. She actually has blood on her hands and the news are currently talking about a case of murders so she’s afraid she might be the killer. I actually thought this game would be fun but it turned out to be a piece of crap. Noze lets her stay at her home for the time being since she has amnesia and nowhere else to go blah blah blah, then we come to know of a guy who claims to be her fiance and a stupid bitch called Mao (yes, another Mao…maybe this name is a bad omen or something in otome games) who has a thing for Noze and is a piece of shit throughout the whole route. Of course, the MC had to be super dumb and can’t even defend herself when Mao insults her every turn she gets. Noze, of course, is the king of indecisiveness and when he finally accepts he’s in love with the MC and they have sex, Mao walks in on them and tries to kill the MC ಠ_ಠ WTF I don’t even…
Forbidden love: The Unforgivable Couple – Mike
Ok, first of all, let’s get something clear: WHY WOULD YOU NAME A GAME “FORBIDDEN LOVE” FOR PETE’S SAKE, WHAT THE FUCKING HELL. Ugh, anyway, Mike’s like your brother or something and he’s a fucking asshole that treats the MC like shit. He compares her to her mother (who was a manipulative bitch) yet then he says he likes her and never thought of her as a sister???? Basically: “I hate you. Let’s have sex”. WHAT THE FUCK. Then there’s his bitch ex-girlfriend who wants to kill the MC and fucking poisons her???? WHO CAME UP WITH THIS SHIT PLOT HOLY SHITTO. THIS IS THE WORST OTOME GAME EVER CREATED.
My Sweet Bodyguard – Sora
MC suddenly comes to know that she’s the daughter of the prime minister so she needs a bodyguard! Well, sure, let’s have the man-whore bodyguard take care of us!!! HOLY SHIT MAN, the dude was receiving calls from women 24/7 and I was here like WHEN WILL YOU BODYGUARD FOR FUCK’S SAKE, I COULD BE KILLED WHILE YOU ACT LIKE A FREAKIN’ MAN-WHORE, I’LL TELL MY DADDY.
Love Letter From Thief X – Hiro
Ok, to be fair, this game is one of the best from Voltage, but there are some things that REALLY irritate me. One is the love pentagon: all the characters falling for the MC, I won’t say for no reason cause’ many of them have reasons but WHY IS IT ALL OF THEM DUDE, WHYYYYYY. IS SHE ANGELINA JOLIE OR SOMETHING OMFG. Anyway, Hiro’s main route, while it had its cute parts it irritated me because the dude was basically like “you can’t fall in love with me guuuurl ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)” yet he’s the one who falls for her first????? No, seriously, wtf is it with mobile otome games and the stupid “you can’t fall in love” premise, IT’S SO LAME AND UNCREATIVE ISTG, stop using it unless you actually write something with common sense pleaaaase щ(ಥДಥщ).
Anyway, this concludes my list. I hope I at least made someone laugh a bit 😆 . Next will be Code: Realize’s review.
Hope you enjoyed the ride! See you next post! (≧∇≦*)/